Going into every new year we all start off on a positive note. The way I start is how I “try” to finish the year. It sets the tone for the months ahead. I’ve noticed that sometimes we get caught up in things that carried over from last year. I’ve found that if I let it go, the benefit is greater than what I was trying to hold on to.

Life Lessons and Tips for the New Year

Here are five things to help you along the way this year.

1. If someone owes you money, don’t sweat it. Take it as a lesson learned. 

If by chance I have to loan out money, I try not to expect it back. Sometimes friends don’t have it to give back, so I understand that. However, if I then see that same person out spending money, it really irritates me. I look at my support system in the community and value what others gave to me instead of what someone didn’t do in return for my kindness.

2. If you were played (or lied to) by someone in your life, let it go. Consider these people to be amazing teachers.

These are the best lessons. When friends or family say something that’s not true and lead you down a path that you may not travel, simply take the lesson and next time be careful about letting them lead. But on the other hand, be aware not to put others in that same category. Give them a chance to not be grouped into the faults of others.

3. If someone is angry with you, but refuses to communicate about what’s bothering them, release them from your thoughts. No one will win. 

These past two years have been very stressful for everyone. I got into many confrontations with family and friends attempting to set boundaries, which most people don’t like. For me, it is one of the most important things I can have in place. Time heals almost everything, but you can’t surrender your energy and time worrying about someone being mad. Just tell them, “Guess what? You won, you’re right,” and carry on with your life.

4. If you’re not speaking to someone anymore, it’s cool. Not everyone sticks around forever.

I had a tough time with my sister this year. We haven’t had a conversation with each other since April. And that’s ok. People need space to get their thoughts together. I have nothing but love for her and wish her the best life ever. I’ve learned to still love people even when they don’t want to be loved. People can only meet you as deeply as they are willing to meet themselves. That takes growth. Make sure you plant great seeds in the heat of your conversations, so when you’re not around, they can hear your words of wisdom in their thoughts.

5. If you feel like you wronged someone, humbly apologize and ask for forgiveness. 

This life is too short. Apologies are a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure. Even if I don’t know what I did to hurt that person, I still apologize. I may not be aware of the offense or their expectations that I didn’t meet. To forgive is a, “conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” After you’ve talked through what happened, talk about expectations for the future.

In honor of emotional, spiritual, financial and physical growth, I surrender all pent up anger, grudges, unproductive and toxic people from my life and valued conversations.