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Can Your Marriage Survive the Togetherness of a Pandemic?

I have friends that work and live together 24/7 and seem to do just fine. My husband and I have lived where we work several times over our 39 years of marriage. It’s not always a picnic, but it works for us. 

We were really proud of ourselves during the lockdown. No arguments. We got along beautifully. Had long talks about our future and things we want to do. I was telling my husband about this article I read in Time Magazine, written by Belinda Luscombe, about relationship advice for couples during the pandemic. 

We were confident that we had been doing a stellar job with all that had been thrown at us, but then our situation started to take a turn.

We found that going back to work changed our story. I loved our time alone together. We talked, and we walked and listened to each other. Now it was different – or back to normal. We live in a house which shares our business – a hair salon. When we work, he talks to his clients all day and then when we close, he’s tired of talking or listening. I wonder if gynecologists are that way when they go home. Telling their partner they just can’t look at one more “hoo ha!” Just a thought. 

Ways to Protect Your Relationship during Quarantine

I started looking at other questions and advice. If you work from home, do you have a cut off work time and then have a life? That’s another issue with us. 

The magazine went on to say:

Ask for what you want…really ask.

Neither of you have the gift of mind reading. You can’t help each other if you don’t know what you need. If a disagreement turns into a full-blown fight, call for a time out to cool down. We have to be aware of our heightened emotions due to stress at times like these. 

Knock off the criticism.

Now is not the time to be pointing out mistakes. The time to be pointing out mistakes is almost never. Find good things to say about your partner. If you want to be close, you can’t be critical.

This is an emotional, stressful time in our world. Let your partner feel bad – or OK. Everyone is going to react differently. Do your best to figure out their emotions and show empathy for them, even if you don’t share or understand their feelings. 

Couples who were fine before the coronavirus will probably be perfectly fine after but may still need some help over the next few, oh, who knows how long. When in doubt on how to make your partner happy, or less stressed, depressed or anxious, a little space and quiet time could do wonders…for both of you.

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